As if I did not know before, around the fourth month into my pregnancy my lingerie was useless! Not only did my demi push-up squish my breast, but the lacy panties had to go also! AAAAAAAhhhh! The comfort of cotton! My first step was to go and buy a packet of Hanes cotton briefs (what? Underwear come in packets of 3?), one size larger than I wear. What a change, no more tweaking, itching, SLIDING, and lots of room for my belly. Next were the bras. WHOA! $7.00?? I’ll take three!

     I am not an affiliate of Hanes, nor do I endorse Fruit of the Looms. Although, I am sure EVERY woman nodded her head in agreement when the Fruit of the Looms commercial ran on TV. You know, the one where you see 3-4 Tangas and fluffy G-strings being pulled across the laundry line? The caption read, “This is what HE dreams about”. Along comes the cotton brief! “This is what SHE dreams about!” (Don’t quote me on the verbiage!). It’s true! Most of us wear these uncomfortable, not cut to fit over an 18-year-old butt contraption for our MEN! Because they think it’s sexy, and we think it makes us look sexier. Hey, there are women who look sexy in long johns! I am the first to admit; I used to spend tons on fancy underwear, because it looks pretty and made me feel special. That was “pre-Madame” (Madame = my 2 year old), when I had time and space to hand wash.

     As my belly grew, so did my undies. My husband didn’t dare say a word when I wore my “preggie cottons”, those big, beautiful ones that fit over your whole belly. Actually, my husband didn’t say anything until a year after my daughter was born. “Honey, what happened to all of your pretty underwear?” as I stood there in my pastel flowers. “YOU are ONE of them! You don’t care if I am comfortable! If men had to wear those, Victoria’s Secret would go out of business! I am a Momma now!” I had to defend my rights! How dare he?

     The next day I found a gift box from Victoria’s Secret on the table. Inside were a beautiful, black cotton lingerie ensemble and a tiger print silk robe. The card with it read: “ To my sexy Momma!”

     Relationships are all about compromise!