What to do when Shit hits the Fan  

by Heike Boehnke-Sharp

Have you ever had one of those days,

When you look in the mirror and say:

“Man, what else can happen today?”

A check that was due for weeks

finally came your way.

You put it in your account.

There it bounced 3 days later,

The money was not there to stay.

A little red baby sock,

So cute on those twinkle toes,

Clung to your white cotton undies.

Your husband will surely appreciate

Pink undershirts for 10 days in a row.

When the kids are finally napping,

You decide to sneak a bath.

The hot water comes out cold.

You curse your laundry, but on further investigation,

The hot water heater spurts cold water in your path.

So you take a cold shower and try to prepare

For that VERY important meeting drawing near.

You get the family ready in record time, and as you walk out the door,

The baby makes the “squeeze face” you have learned to fear.

Poop squishes out, all the way to his ear,

And all down your front in a nice big smear.

You plop on the grass shaking with hysterical laughter.

RELAX, Girlfriend.

Just turn the fan around, so the shit can fly away.

And once you’ve mastered that,

You will live happily, ever, after.

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